Addiction doesn’t care. It just doesn’t.
Not about you or the people in your life or the community where you live. Addiction doesn’t care about your liver or your kidneys. It doesn’t care about your body at all actually.
Addiction doesn’t care if you’re sick all day and puking or if you’re chipper as a little rainbow. It only cares that you feed it. That you get the fix. At all costs. Addiction doesn’t care about your marriage or all the things you promised that person who loves you so much it hurts. It doesn’t care about the nights they lay awake at night worried or crying, wondering if there’s something they could do differently or better to get you through. It doesn’t hear all those morning-after talks or see the years of love and family laying scattered and broken on the floor. Addiction doesn’t see marriage or partnership. It just sees the fix.
Addiction doesn’t care about your kids. It doesn’t care about their future or their self-esteem, it doesn’t really care how they see themselves or their parents, how they look at drugs or drinking, it doesn’t even care if they live or die. Addiction doesn’t see them as innocent people who need guidance and love in order to grow healthy and strong. Addiction doesn’t care about their wellbeing, only the fix.
Addiction doesn’t care about your career or your goals or your job. It doesn’t care if you’re in debt or broke or on your way to the homeless shelter. Addiction doesn’t care how much money it drains from your life or what kind of damage it does to your partners and colleagues who are putting their trust in you to pull your own weight and get the work done. Addiction only cares about the fix.
Addiction doesn’t care about anyone or anything. It’s a mindless, hungry ghost. It’s a state of mind that will eat away at everything you care about and everything you are until there’s nothing left. Addiction is just a force of nature.
But you’re not.
You’re real. You’re a person with your own unique freedom to choose your own path in life. To decide in each moment whether you’re stronger than that force or not.
Only you can care about your health, your marriage, your kids, your livelihood. Your addiction doesn’t care either way. It’s not rooting for your in any direction other than to get the next fix, have the next drink, “get your mind right” with a little of that Popeye spinach.
Addiction isn’t on your team.
It’s on its own.
Whose side are you on?